The Maker of all Human Beings is recalling...

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The Maker of all Human Beings is recalling...

Post  duckducktape on Mon Feb 16, 2009 1:21 am

We were talking about this on the trip from Toccoa yesterday and thought it would be a cool thing to post. I didn't want to spam up another topic for the purpose of posting this so enjoy! ^^
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Re: The Maker of all Human Beings is recalling...

Post  duckducktape on Mon Feb 16, 2009 1:21 am

The Maker of all Human Beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some symptoms include:

1. Loss of direction

2. Foul vocal emissions

3. Amnesia of origin

4. Lack of peace and joy

5. Selfish or violent behavior

6. Depression or confusion in the mental component

7. Fearfulness

8. Idolatry

9. Rebellion



- The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.

- The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.

- There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

- Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE Procedure.

- Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

1. Love

2. Joy

3. Peace

4. Patience

5. Kindness

6. Goodness

7. Faithfulness

8. Gentleness

9. Self control



Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.
(Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth)

for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will eventually result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

- For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units never responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!

God
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Re: The Maker of all Human Beings is recalling...

Post  Testimony of Greatness on Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:21 am

That.....That is....INSANELY AWESOME!!!!!!! SO SO COOL! Only Mary would be able to think of something as cool and crazy as that.
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Re: The Maker of all Human Beings is recalling...

Post  duckducktape on Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:46 pm

Testimony of Greatness wrote:That.....That is....INSANELY AWESOME!!!!!!! SO SO COOL! Only Mary would be able to think of something as cool and crazy as that.
thanks for the props, but this was an email that got forwarded to us. Wink
indeed it is awesome though!
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